Looking for a little advice about your relationship? Perhaps you have questions about parenting? Ask Andrea! Our social worker, Andrea Liss will pick one question a month and answer it in our mid-month bulletin. You can submit your questions anonymously to her at https://forms.office.com/r/F3rxQKvTdQ
Dear Andrea,
I need to lose some weight. I’ve been saying this for years. I try for a while but can’t seem to stick to a diet. I’m an OUTCAN spouse in my forties. I looked in the mirror the other day and hardly recognized myself. It’s a new year and one of my resolutions is to get a better handle on this permanently. What tips do you have that might help me?
- Need to Make a Change
Dear Need to Make a Change,
My first observation is that you mention you are in your forties. Let’s assume that menopause is a factor here or will be soon enough.
Menopause transition time is typically a time where, on average, women gain about five pounds. Also, to add insult to injury, I recall a dietician colleague of mine telling me that on average women gain one to one and a half pounds per year in the golden years and that weight maintenance is a very important factor in not only longevity, but in feeling good about oneself. I realize Need to Make a Change that you are asking about weight loss, but I suggest starting to implement behaviours that are firstly going to help prevent you from gaining any more weight. Given that you are gaining weight there may be some changes that need to be made to your overall eating and exercise habits. Many diets show initial success in weight reduction, but maintaining this weight loss can be challenging. Most individuals regain lost weight within a year, regardless of the diet followed (see Harvard article below). Maintaining your weight requires long-term cognitive and behavioural skills that are the same for dropping weight but with a lesser intensity. Because you have gained weight over time why not check out these pro tips from women in menopausal transition who were able to beat the odds and maintain their weight?
A recent study of 31 Portuguese women in menopausal transition (average age 54) indicated that women who successfully managed their weight over this time engaged in a combination of cognitive and behavioural strategies (full text cited below). Post menopausal women were asked what strategies they employed in order to manage their weight. Let’s have a look at what they did. Knowing that other women were successful in their approach will be motivating for you.
Dietary Choices - women who are successful at maintaining their weight are strategic about eating healthily. They choose food that satisfies them and that acts as fuel. They include more vegetables in their meals and remove certain food or food products. Generally, there is a focus on consuming a modest amount of protein as it helps with satiety and is essential for activity.
Self-Monitoring - keeping track of what has been consumed is an important strategy in weight maintenance. This is important because weight maintainers eat and exercise in accordance with what has already been consumed. This is a compensatory strategy. When treats are consumed, successful weight maintainers pull back on other calories or increase exercise or both which monitoring allows them to do. Weight maintainers are on top of what they ingest so to speak.
Planning Content - those that maintain their weight have at least a rough plan of what meals will be had each day. Shopping, preparing and assistance help make planning happen. Staying ahead of eating is what they find works.
Stimulus Control - weight maintainers reduce access to foods that they are vulnerable to. They don’t buy foods that they know will interfere with weight maintenance.
Psychological Self-Care- weight maintainers take care of their body and soul. They treat themselves to self-care practices and are both firm and yet forgiving with themselves.
Food Literacy - weight maintainers are knowledgeable about what they ingest and why.
Intuitive Eating - Knowing how satiety works and being mindful of feeling satisfied is a hallmark of weight maintenance. Those that manage their weight also pay attention to cravings and their bodily needs. When weight maintainers “feel like” their bodies need protein, spinach, or salt they incorporate this into their meal. Knowing when a pastry or other sweet treat is needed is negotiated. Intuitive eating also encompasses knowing the dangers of excessive and prolonged undereating. Undereating maintains hunger and eventually promotes cravings.
Effortful Inhibition - those that maintain their weight over menopause transition restrict and regulate their eating but not in an obsessive or preoccupied manner. Having “some” but not a lot of french fries is a weight maintainers kryptonite. They eat meals with regularity throughout the day and over the course of the week. They hold off on what they don’t need or crave and yet can incorporate small amounts of pleasure on a regular basis as long as they remain disciplined.
In the end, what I found the most interesting about the research was that not all women in the study engaged in all the strategies listed above. What this means is that there is likely not a one-sized fits all approach to weight management. This is an important observation. Given that you are preparing for a long-term goal of weight maintenance in fact, I suggest that you read the discussion section of the Portuguese research paper (skip the results section but read the introduction, abstract, discussion, and conclusion if you are not used to reading science papers).
As we ring in 2025 Need to Make a Change, plan to set aside some time now where you think about what strategies will work for you. Don’t try, do. Most of all, work hard and stay focused. Small changes that are consistent and incorporated as everyday behaviours are those that will bring the greatest change. You will feel proud of your capacity to incorporate change over the long haul. Here is the Portuguese research paper on menopausal weight maintenance and then a quick article on the lack of effectiveness of diets. Happy New Year Need to Make a Change!
If you would like to pose a question for the Ask Andrea column, please send your anonymous question to https://forms.office.com/r/F3rxQKvTdQ and Andrea will do her best to share some of her ideas.
Andrea has a master’s degree in Social Work and is a Registered Social Worker (Ontario) with over 20 years of experience. She maintains a faculty appointment at McMaster University where she teaches in the Masters of Science in Psychotherapy program. Andrea is your MFS OUTCAN Rest of World Social Worker. If you are a CAF family member and would to speak with her or join the spousal support group for all OUTCAN spouses that she runs please email her at liss.andrea@cfmws.com.