Let us be clear up front: returning ‘home’ was not what we had expected. Our hope of seeing our family and friends or even going back to our favourite restaurants were crushed by the pandemic.
That being said, we made the best of it. We managed most of our expectations (!) and we survived. It all started a year ago… When I think about what helped us get through, I could divide things in 4 categories:
Not our forever home
Before we even got the posting message, we decided to talk about our threshold for risk. We established that this posting would not be our last one and that we would not retire in Ottawa. This removed some pressure in finding the perfect house. We would have to be content with a “good enough” house. We made a list of things we would not compromise on when buying a house and established our budget, keeping in mind the crazy house market. Then we decided to beat the crowd and conduct a virtual HHT as soon as we get our posting message. We kept laughing at how crazy this all was, but also hoped it would remove the stress of traveling during the pandemic to find a house.
Amazing agent and inspectors to the rescue
Once we decided we would do a virtual HHT, we asked friends for references to find an agent. I interviewed two wonderful agents and chose the most experienced and assertive one. He knew all about bully offers, was confident, and came with glowing references from military friends. We virtually met him many times and talked about our needs and expectations. I made it clear that I not only needed an agent, I needed someone who would calm me down and made me feel in control of the situation when pressure would rise! He visited houses for us and used Zoom so we could see his top picks.
We had an inspector on call for us and we got inspections done before we would make any offers. This helped us in making offers without conditions! It was surreal at times, but we made it work. We found a house that makes us happy and keep shaking our heads thinking we did not smell it or lay on eyes on it before we bought it. (It smelled good by the way, I asked!). My husband kept saying that if the inspector is also ok with the house, what more can we ask for?!
Planning is everything, Darling
I am a planner. I could not plan much as we were going with the flow… and we were at the mercy of the pandemic. One thing I could control was my paperwork! I created a super binder with tabs. I had everything in there: copies of our passports, tickets, all the military forms, the inventory of our furniture and details of our car returning to Canada, etc. All that admin work was worth it. Customs in Toronto was easier as I had everything ready. The arrival of our furniture and the delivery of our long-term storage were also simplified as we knew exactly where everything was. Do yourself a favour, create a binder!
Policies and directives can be good bedtime stories, maybe?
We are all always overwhelmed during a move with all the things we need to read in preparation for our move. However, the sooner you tackle the reading, the better you will feel. You will get a sense of what your entitlements are, what is expected of you, and what is not covered! It is tedious and can be daunting, but knowledge is power. I read everything twice. I took notes and I felt ready. It did not remove the stress completely, but it sure helped me get a sense of control and empowerment.
It’s been a year. I still miss Europe and I miss faces. We had a wonderful time and met amazing people. For the first time in my life, I utterly understood what the word ‘community’ meant and how military families are resilient in ways that outsiders cannot understand. Trust me, you’ve got this, and it’s ok to be anxious about the move back to Canada. You are not alone, so do not hesitate to reach out!
- Martine Bareil
former OUTCAN military spouse