The history of Valentine’s day is an interesting one. It can be traced back to the Pagan fertility festival known as Lupercalia, which included animal sacrifice, ritualized fornication, public flogging… and lots of wine. In the 5th Century, Pope Gelasius I outlawed Lupercalian festivities, Christianized the traditions in the name of Saint Valentine of Rome -- patron of courtly love and epilepsy. Some Lupercalian symbols subsisted, such as the figure of Cupid, the Roman god of desire and erotic love, as we can see adorning many Valentine’s day decorations. However, it isn’t until the 20th century that the holiday takes shape as we know it today, with its large-scale commercialization by a popular greeting card company. As we can see, Valentine’s day has different layers of signification but is largely celebrated today as a holiday to celebrate love, particularly romantic love.
On this occasion, many couples reflect on the quality of their romantic relationships, and on what they can do to nurture greater connection and empathy within it.
The Mental Health Continuum and Chart can be used as a reference to gauge the health of your relationship[i]. Relationships are living entities; they change and morph over time. It is normal to experience difficulties within the relationship as life can get messy and difficult. This past year has been especially difficult for many couples: the pandemic has brought its share of stressors and many people report an increase in tension with their significant other. There are many great online programs for couples looking to strengthen their relationship, including one by the Gottman institute [ii], the fruit of several decades of seminal work by Drs Julie and John Gottman.
If you feel that you, or your relationship, are struggling, help is available. Reach out to MFS Social Worker at chebat.myriam@cfmws.com for support.
- Myriam Chebat
Social Worker