Virtual communication is unavoidable at the moment. Most of our human contact is now coming at us through a screen. Although most of us are comfortable with going through the motions of turning on our devices and saying hello through a camera; Are we really getting what we need from our virtual interactions?
To help promote mental resiliency throughout 2021, learning how to maximize our meaningful virtual interactions is essential. What is a meaningful interaction you ask? It is one that offers mutual understanding, acceptance and support. The following can help you optimize how you interact with people virtually, both on a personal and professional level, and to obtain what you need from a virtual conversation.
Encourage a video chat. Yes, we have all had a bad hair day and we could hide the unfolded laundry in the background; but this is not what is important. You will get far more out of a virtual conversation if you can see the other person. Put those excuses aside, and find a comfortable and inviting space in your home to encourage a meaningful dialogue.
Be present and minimize distractions. This goes without saying, but at times we need a reminder. Make the person you are speaking with the focus of your attention. Turn off the notifications on your devices, minimize all web browser windows and put up a do not disturb sign on your door, if need be. The other person has generously offered you some of their time, show them respect by giving them your focus. Take a moment before you engage in your meeting, and clear your mind. Come mentally prepared to your conversation.
Show interest in the other person. Try and avoid the usual opening question of “How are you?”. This does not always show an honest interest and it will prompt the usual responses. Try to stimulate a conversation by being more dynamic with your enthusiasm. Try something new:
- Tell me about your day!
- What did you do today that you loved?
- Tell me the highlight of your day.
- Tell me something new about you, I am genuinely interested.
Ask them something new. They may be life-long friends, but there is always something new to learn about another person. Ask them about their favourite food, a life-long goal, their next travel destination or inquire about their hobbies. People will share with you if you demonstrate a genuine interest. You may also find something new in common.
Listen. Make an effort to not interrupt the other person. Practice a thoughtful pause. It is all too easy to jump into the conversation and inadvertently interrupt the other person. Listen to the other person, appreciate their thoughts and make your contributions to the conversation impactful.
Change your backdrop. Try not to always sit in the same place in your home. Change it up and keep them guessing. If you are limited to a single quiet space, add something new to your background. Add a picture, a sculpture, a blanket, or something quirky, for example. Add something eye-catching that could stimulate a conversation.
It’s about giving more than you take. We all have an “emotional sponge” amongst our friend or family circle; that person you dread speaking to and leaves you emotionally drained. There is perhaps a chance that you are that person to someone else. Make an effort to be interested in the other person; do not make it all about you. Try to focus on being positive and demonstrating gratitude. You may be surprised who opens up to you.
Be genuine and produce a virtual human moment. You may be starving for human contact at present. Under the circumstances, the next best thing is nurturing a virtual human moment. You can grow this possibility by arriving prepared for your conversation. There is nothing wrong with preparing something ahead of time and encouraging a virtual show-and-tell. One of my favourite things to do is share my screen with a Gary Larson The Far Side comic, they are always good for a chuckle! People can tell when you are present and genuine. Think about how you want your conversation partner to be like with you, and try to reciprocate.
There is no magic formula to a meaningful virtual conversation. Be yourself, show thoughtfulness and make a positive effort to focus on the other person. It is possible to harness a powerful connection with another person through a screen.
- Amanda Ager,
Virtual Program Coordinator