I've always dreamed of living internationally. A year ago if you asked if I saw myself living in the suburbs of London I would've said you're crazy. I never thought it would become a reality.
When the opportunity presented itself we gave it serious thought. Lots of debating, pros and cons and of course discussions with everyone we knew. I'll always remember that defining moment for us when I said "Let's do something crazy!" And just like that we arrived in London during a heatwave in a black cab. Jet lagged and full of excitement. Two Canadians ready to live like Brits.
This is our first OUTCAN. And for us an opportunity of a lifetime. Our first time ever coming to the UK and now we are going to be living here. So much to digest. Everything is new.
As we transitioned this past year from Canadians to Brits I reflect on how I got through what I call my 4 transition stages:
1) Excitement
2) Overwhelmed
3) Adjustment
4) Confidence
The beginning of this transition started with the excitement stage. "Omg we’re moving to England!" What I found helped us maintain that feeling was the positive support from our children, family and friends. Lots of "Wow, you're moving to the UK!", "That's amazing!, "You'll get to see so much of Europe!", "Oh the travelling you guys will do" and "Where will you live?" So much to be excited about, right?
Taking me into the next phase. When all those questions start to hit you. Yup, I'm in the Overwhelmed stage. Moving to a new country there is much to sort out from the moment you officially say Yes to the...OUTCAN. The to-do list is daunting. Slow down, breathe and take one thing at a time. Trust me on this one. I had to remind myself to do the same. Most importantly though, I remembered we needed to support each other. This is a big step for our family for us to go on this new journey.
Seek help when needed. I found having a pet relocation company and a relocation specialist to find our new home away from home helped immensely. Both took away the stressors of dealing with different time zones and unfamiliar processes.
Be resourceful. I was excited and curious. I read up on where we'd be living. I asked for advice in OUTCAN groups on social media, connected with those currently on OUTCAN and even some who've completed them. I was in constant search wanting as much information as possible on everything. This helped to familiarize and take away that fear of the unknown.
Another part of the overwhelming stage for me was not being a young mother. My children are now grown adults with their own careers. Before leaving for the UK I wondered, "How will I fit in and meet others without them?" This is our first time with a posting that they weren't coming along. No meeting other parents at school or activities. That feeling of being alone set in.
What worked for me was to step outside of my comfort zone. I came with an open mind. To challenge myself to embrace change. I focused on putting myself out there to make new connections. It worked. I've met neighbours, new friends at coffee mornings, walking groups, events and at events/trips hosted by CFMWS. Having a support group no matter how big or small really helps. And, of course, for answering the millions of questions that pop up along the transition stages.
Then I hit the adjustment stage. Adjusting to the new life around me. Everything is different. How I drive. Where I buy things. Everything is small. AC is not common. Not fun! Especially during the heatwave we experienced when we arrived and here again this week as I write this. Everyone has an accent. I’m often mistaken as an American. I proudly correct that I'm a Canadian. People are obsessed with the weather here. I quickly learned why. It rains often and unexpectedly. I found out that an umbrella is a must. Football is a religion (lol don't call it soccer here). I learned that even if my front door is unlocked, if I go outside, close the door, and do not have a key with me, you guessed it, I am locked out! A spare key with a neighbor or hidden outside is a great back up.
A definite big adjustment for me was the UK hard water. The mineral content builds up on appliances, dishes, showers and causes build up in your hair. We are fortunate to have a water softener. It helps control most of these issues. My advice. Using a Brita here is golden. Especially for tea lovers like me. I discovered products such as Oust, Aveeno Apple Cider vinegar shampoo, salt for the dishwasher and Cif Power & Shine bathroom helped to battle that annoying limescale. Lastly, to not constantly be converting British pounds to Canadian dollars when shopping. That'll drive you mad.
I will say that something I would've changed in transitioning here is that I should've challenged myself to drive earlier. Coming from Canada to the UK, driving on the other side of the road on the other side of the car makes you feel like a new driver all over again. Once I ripped off that band-aid, thanks to friends visiting, I wished I had done it sooner. Also, I wished I had not fret about living in a certain area. Everyone here on OUTCAN is all over the place. There are so many beautiful areas to live in.
I now feel I have hit my final stage at this point. The confidence stage. That feeling of being settled. I am more comfortable in my surroundings. I know where to get what I need for the most part. Confident to travel the tube like a Londoner without assistance from Google Maps all the time. Feeling like a local when I am walking past the local popular fish and chips shop spotting a friendly familiar face, a new friend here. And for me, the moment we came back from a romantic holiday to celebrate our 25th Anniversary in my dream location, Paris, just a few days ago actually. I was looking forward to getting home to our bed. This is the first time it really hit me that I was calling our home away from home a "home". I realized then I had officially transitioned from Canada to the UK.
It takes time to adjust and transition, so be patient. It took me a year to get here. And remember, please share your lessons learned with the next family that arrives. I have. We all remember what it feels like being the new one in transition.
So, as I swing in my egg chair in the conservatory enjoying a cuppa, my dream has truly become a reality. I have transitioned from Canada to the UK. xx